Speak
by The Queen Of Mischief
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

_Hiya, guys! This is a _Speak _story. For those of you haven't read it, it is an excellent book. If you haven't, here's a brief a summary:_

_A girl called Melinda went to a party a year ago where there was alcohol. She got drunk and the school's hottest guy took her out to the woods behind the host, who was her best friend, Rachel's house. There he raped her. He hurt her. She went back and called the cops but was unable to tell them what had happened. Everyone hated her for busting the party and she was all alone, unable to speak, to tell anyone what IT had done. But in the end when IT was caught trying to hurt her again, he was busted and everyone knew the truth and felt horrible about what they had done. She only had one person close to being a friend in her dark period, Ivy, a good artist from her favorite class, art class. This story is set a day after the book and Ivy is her best friend._

**Chapter 1**

"Hello?" I'd picked up the receiver.

"Hello? Mel? Hi, Mel! How're you doing?" asked her concerned friend, Ivy.

"I'm…alright." I said.

The truth was, I'd been crying all night. Even though IT was in jail and I was safe, I was crying because of the fact that it had happened to me. _Me. _Why me? I was also crying partially from relief.

IT was gone.

IT was out of my life.

IT would never come near me again.

I was safe.

At last.

"Are you sure? I thought you might like to come over. I mean, I thought you might want a friend after… after what happened."

"I'd love to!" I said enthusiastically. I did want to go to her house.

"Great!" she said happily. "I'm glad you're recovering, Mel," she said.

"Me too. Anyway, I'll see you in a bit."

"Kay. Oh, wait! I'm doing some grocery shopping for my mom, so I'll be home by the time you reach, alright?"

"Sure. Bye!"

"Bye!"

I pressed the doorbell button. It was almost instantly opened by a boy. A very hot boy.

I had been about to say "Hi Ivy!", but I stopped myself just in time.

"Um, hi. Is Ivy home?"

"She's gone grocery shopping for our mom, who has gone to work. So. No. Um, come on in. I'm James, Ivy's brother." He had a light, tenor voice.

"Okay."

"You must be Melinda, right?"

When I nodded, he said "I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry about the way those assholes treated you. And more importantly, what that son of a bitch Andy Evans did."

I shrugged. "It happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding. Andy Evans raped me in August when I was drunk and too young to know what was happening. It wasn't my fault. He hurt me. It _wasn't_ my fault." It was like I was trying to reassure myself that it wasn't, rather than telling James. "And I'm not going to let it kill me. The bruises are still vivid, but they will fade. I can grow. I can heal. I can speak."

I wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry." I apologized and scrubbed furiously at my eyes with my sleeve.

"Wow." He said. "That's deep."

I smiled sadly. I knew he didn't know what to say to what I'd just said.

The doorbell rang. James rushed to the door. He was looking for an excuse to get away from me. I just knew it. They were the first words I'd spoken to a boy since IT happened and this was his impression of me. I sighed sadly.

Was I really so depressed?

I knew I wasn't. My heart was light for the first time in a long time. I didn't feel like dying every living moment of my life anymore.

I had _hope. _

I sighed again.

Ivy walked into the room. "Hi!" she said, smiling. Her smile faded when she saw my face. "You're not alright at all, are you?"

I burst into sobs and squeezed her. "No," I cried into her shoulder.

James walked in. "Whoa." He said.

"What did you say to her, James?" she demanded from him. To me she said "Forgive my brother. He's a bit stupid."

"Hey! I'm right over here, you know!" he said.

"He didn't say anything." I sniffled in his defense.

"See?"

"Oh, sweetie, you just let it all out. You've been through a lot. We all need to cry."

James couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Women," he muttered, while walking out of the room.

Was he already so sick of me? This thought made me cry even harder. Ivy gently sat me down on the sofa and patted my shoulder.

James came back with a glass of water. HE CAME BACK! That meant he wasn't sick of me. I almost stopped crying and managed to choke out a 'thank you'.

He nodded and retreated to his room where Ivy, rolling her eyes, said he went to play Dungeons and Dragons all day long.

He heard this and said "If you _must _know, I have homework to catch up on. Besides, I hate Dungeons and Dragons. I prefer Halo 2."

"Dungeons and Dragons, Halo 2, _Barbie, _they're all the same." Said Ivy.

I giggled and wiped my eyes.

He left.

"So, what'dya wanna do?" asked Ivy after I finished crying.

Before I could answer "Wanna watch a movie?"

This was a good idea so I nodded my head enthusiastically.

So we shut all the curtains and doors and started watching Ju On.

We were both shrieking so hysterically that James came down and asked what was going on.

We told him and he rolled his eyes and said that we were wimps, but he sat and watched with us all the same.

At a point, Ivy went to refill the popcorn and a blue faced, red eyed girl appeared behind a lady in the bathroom and killed her in such a terrifying way that I unconsciously gripped James' hand. When I realized what I had done I slowly turned to face him and saw that he was looking at me with one eyebrow raised. I could tell that he was amused. His bright blue eyes were sparkling. I snatched my hand back, turning red.

But neither of us could ignore the spark that traveled through our entire bodies the second we had made contact.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

One year later…

Ivy and I were walking back from school together. Ivy was walking backwards, facing me. She was talking about her latest art craze.

She had phases in which one kind of art seemed more appealing than the others.

Now it was modern art.

This never happened to me. Probably cos she's a real artist.

Suddenly, some kid came thundering down the path on which we were walking, from behind Ivy. He shoved her and continued to run.

He pushed her onto the road.

And a speeding truck was a few inches away from her…

_At Ivy's funeral…_

"Ivy… was a good person. A talented artist. A beautiful person. A wonderful sister. I hope she has gone to a better place. God rest her soul." Said James. He stepped back and brushed a tear from his eye.

The funeral was over.

I dropped a few flowers beside her grave and was about to walk back home when I bumped into James.

James: Hey.

Me:

James: Can I walk you home?

Me: (turns around to start walking home)

James: (follows)

James: I don't think I'm ever going to get over it.

Me:

James: You seem to be taking this pretty hard. We all are.

Me:

James: Please say something.

Me: What is there to say?

James: I don't know, just say something.

Me: (smiles sadly)

James: (reaches my door) can I come in for a bit?

Me: (holds open door)

James: (walks in) thanks.

Me: (comes inside)

James: You'll feel better once you speak, you know.

I burst into tears and my head fell onto his shoulder. He hesitantly laid a hand on my shoulder and patted it.

I soon stopped crying. James still sat beside me, patting my back. I felt a bit tetchy to be so close to another guy. After what had happened last time. But James was different. And…I liked this. He made me feel at home.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Another year passed. The loss of Ivy only drew me and James closer. I was beginning to realize I had feelings for him.

But I had had feelings for Andy beast too.

And look how that had turned out.

But James wasn't like that.

He would never hurt me.

I never thought IT would hurt me either.

But IT didn't like me as a person. He was just luring me to him so he could rape me.

It was getting easier to admit I was raped. I almost thought I would actually get over it.

James liked me for who I was, not just for… well… you know. But how could I know that?

Ah, what the hell, even if James wasn't a sick minded pervert, he probably had no feelings for me anyways.

Who would?

What, with my pitch black hair always falling over my face like a curtain, hiding my true emotions from the world, ad my blue eyes which, previously a bright baby blue, were now a deep midnight shade with purplish circles around them?

I sighed. I didn't even need to bother. I pondered over this as I walked to school.

Rachel passed me on the way there. She slowed down to walk with me.

Rachel: Hey.

It was the first time we'd actually spoken since Andy had been sent away.

Me: Hi.

Rachel: Look, I'm just going to come straight out with it.

Me:

Rachel: I'm so sorry, Mel! What I did to you was horrible and no one should have to go through that alone! I wish I had understood. I wish I was as good a friend to you as you are to me! I was terrible! I wish I'd been able to read your face and tell what was wrong! But I was so mad at you for something that wasn't your fault! I am so sorry! Mel, can you ever find it in your heart to speak to me ever again? I totally would understand if you won't!

Me: You know, I've been having dreams that you'd say something like that to me for ages. They were the best thins that had ever happened t me in my…depression.

Rachel was in tears.

Rachel: That means you will?

Me: Of course I will, dummy.

Rachel: Thank you, oh thank you Mel! You're the best friend anyone could ever have! I love you, Mel!

She hugged me. I hugged back. My eyes were watering.

Me: I love you too, Rachel.

We spent a moment of silence as we hugged, and I found myself wiping my eyes when I caught sight of James.

His eyebrows were raised as if he didn't know what to think, when his face broke into a smile and he gave me a thumbs up, before walking off.

She's on the path to recovery, he thought, glad for his friend. Maybe then he could tell her his true feelings for her…

I sat with Rachel and the gang for the first time in over two years. I felt good. Fulfilled. Ever since after the…incident, my results had been soaring. I was well on my way to getting a scholarship. I knew I wasn't gay, cos I had feelings for a guy. And now I had friends. I finally felt like a normal human being.

Rachel interrupted my thoughts.

Rachel: Can I do something with your hair? It's so lovely, just mussed up. Once I get a comb through it, you'll look like a rock goddess.

Me: I don't see any harm in it.

Rachel: YAY!

It was so easy to please Rachel. One of the reasons se was my best friend. Was, or is? Was I ready to completely forgive her? No, not yet, she could be my good friend. Not best. Ivy was my best friend.

Rachel took out her pocket com and slotted it into my messy hair. I obediently turned away from her so she could get a better view of my hair.

She raked and combed as gently as possible, so as to avoid pulling out half my head and hurting me. She pulled the curtain behind my ears and I had to blink once or twice to adjust my eyes to the light. Everything was so bright, colorful. I was only used to seeing things in black and white. Now it was so…alive. It lifted my spirits instantly.

Oh, Rachel was now handing me a hand mirror to see myself.

I was… almost pretty! I could see my eyes and face and nose ad lips and I actually looked pretty normal! Before I just looked Goth. Now I was…like a normal girl.

I glanced at James across the cafeteria at the same time he looked at me. He blinked, looking stunned. He just looked astounded.

_Across the cafeteria,_

James thought, wow, she looks, so… alive! Happy. Beautiful…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

James and I were walking to his house to hang out together.

"You look, really…" he struggled to find the words.

"Stupid, right?" I sighed and raised my hand to muss up my hair again when he caught it.

When I froze he turned red and snatched his hand away.

"What I meant to say is, you look really…beautiful." He said.

I was turning red. "Um… thanks, James." I was hesitant. Was he teasing me? His face was perfectly serious. I smiled. He smiled back. It was then I had this uncontrollable desire to kiss him right there and then. I tried to shake off the thought. I couldn't. I wanted to run my hands through his dark brown hair, to be able to kiss him and never let go. To be able to look into those magical green eyes of his and never look away.

We reached his house.

"Melinda…"

"Yes?"

"I've been meaning to say this for some time."

"What is it?"

We went up into his room where we normally went.

"This," and he picked me up and pressed his lips against mine gently, but firmly.

I was shocked for a moment, but I soon melted into his arms and kissed back. My arms went around his neck and my fingers into his hair. He put me down again and I felt this surge of sorrow as my feet touched the ground again. He gently pulled away and opened his sparkling green eyes to look down at me and see how I was reacting.

Oh, I reacted alright. By tiptoeing and kissing him again. I wrapped my arms round the small of his back and his fingers went in my hair, this time. I felt this electrifying tingling when he did this.

I forgot to breathe.

Literally. I had to break off because I had forgotten to breathe.

We satisfied ourselves in another way. He sat cross-legged on his bed and I sat on his lap. His arms went around my stomach and his lips in my hair. I leaned back on him, the way I had for the past two years without anyone even knowing it.

I rubbed the back of my head into his shirt and smiled. "You don't mind, do you?" he murmured into my hair. It tingled.

"Mind?" I almost gasped because of the tingle spreading all over my body. "Why would I mind?"

"Because, well, because after what happened, I'd expect you to never want to speak to any guy ever again."

"You're not any guy." I said, touched at his concern for me. "You're mine."

He laughed softly into my hair again and gently swung me around to face him and kissed me again.

I wanted to be closer to him. I couldn't imagine how. Our bodies were already pressed hard against each other. I contented myself in squishing myself tighter into his arms, to which he responded by hugging me tighter.

I soon fell asleep in that position. James didn't. He sat there and stroked my hair for some time.

"Mel?" he whispered in my ear after a while.

"Mmhmm?" I mumbled, inhaling deeply. James smelt so _nice._

"It's getting late. I think you had better go home now."

"Yeah. You're right." I admitted.

We went downstairs. He held open the door for me with a charming smile and flourish. I rolled my eyes, threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.

We broke off after a bit.

"Bye James. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Kay. Bye." He grinned.

I grinned back.

Once the door was closed and my back was turned, I let this big, goofy smile spread all over my face. I felt woozy, like I was high or something. I even stumbled a bit, much to my embarrassment.

Hi guys! I hope you liked it. I hope the fluff was mushy, but not too pasty. I wouldn't want that! Well, hope you liked it anyway. And to get this far in the fic, you must have read it. So REVIEW!

TheQueenOfMischief


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

The next day, I actually bothered to see how I dressed.

I put on a white sleeveless top with slightly frayed shoulder straps. I wore my best pair of skinny jeans. I had decent clothes in my wardrobe. My mom made sure of that. I just didn't wear them very often.

I raked my hair back as neatly as possible, just as Rachel had yesterday.

I went to school, feeling bright and refreshed, but not before my mom saw me.

"Oh, sweetie!" she was almost in tears. "You look beautiful!"

I turned red.

"I am so proud of you, darling. Oh, come here and give me a hug!"

I squished my mom.

"Bye, darling. Be safe."

"Bye, mom. I love you!"

She gasped. It had been a long time since I'd said that.

"I love you too, baby. I love you so, so much." She waved.

I walked out the door.

She brushed off a tear.

I only found James after recess when I was going back to class.

His jaw half-dropped when he saw me. He shut it quickly, though.

I wasn't really sure if yesterday was real or not. So I had decided to act completely normal. I mean, what if it _was _just a dream and I went up to him and kissed him, he'd probably think I'm crazy and stay away from me. It was too good to be true, anyway. I was probably just having crazy fantasies. Not very reassuring of my mental sanity.

He cleared up that doubt pretty quickly, though.

He walked up to me, and then, in front of the whole school, lifted me off my feet and kissed me. My arms hung limp at my sides and I could do nothing but kiss back. I was so happy I was almost crying. I wasn't imagining things! James really did like me.

Or he's just using you for his own selfish…_purposes, _said a rather sour voice in my head, which I'd soon learned to trust. But this time, I knew it was wrong. James would never use me.

_Nor would Andy Evans, but hallelujah! He _did Said the voice.

James is different, I told the voice.

_Haven't we been through this? Let's lay a few ground rules and set some stuff straight. One, stay away from men. They're bastards. Two, trust no one but yourself. Everyone else is untrustworthy. They are all out to get you. Keep to yourself. Dress conservatively, unlike this top you're wearing. If you look ugly, all the better. You don't want attention. Got it?_

No.

_Oh, he's breaking off. Back to reality, or he'll think you're dead or something. _

Alright, but we're continuing this discussion later.

_Yes, fine, whatever, _go!

I opened my eyes as he broke off. I instantly felt guilty for letting my mind even _think _e was taking advantage of me. His eyes were wide and innocent and full of love…at least, I hoped it was love. I wouldn't be surprised if it weren't.

"You look beautiful." He murmured.

The few people who were staring at us went back to what they were doing before.

I blushed-prettily, I hoped.

"Thanks," I whispered. "You don't look too bad yourself." I said in my normal voice when he put me down again.

"I try my best." He shrugged, grinning.

I laughed for the first time in a while.

"Your laugh is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard."

I blushed again.

"I'd better go, or I'll be late for class." He said.

I nodded, agreeing. "Me too."

He brushed a stray lock of my hair back and turned to go.

I stood there for a moment before remembering myself and turning to leave, too.

I met Rachel in class. She grinned and winked, for some strange reason, when she saw me.

We passed notes in class.

Rachel, in her curly script, wrote: Hi, Melly.

Me: Melly?

Rachel: giggles I saw you and that guy today.

Me: turns red you saw that?

Rachel: giggles some more yeah.

Me: turns even redder

Rachel: so you two going out or something?

Me: Not exactly.

Rachel: o-o-o-oh, iw.

Me: what?

Rachel: You're friends…with _benefits?_

Me: God, no! he kissed me for the first time _yesterday._

Rachel: Oh. He's cute. What's his name?

Me: James.

Rachel: and you know him, how exactly?

Me: Ivy was his sister.

Rachel: was? Oh. That Ivy? Ivy Stone? Oh my God. James is _her _brother?

Me: we grew pretty close through Ivy and even closer after Ivy…

Rachel: I'm so sorry for Ivy.

Me: Yeah, me too.

We exchanged tiny smiles and started to pay attention.

_I'm not sure how to continue, so any suggestions will be appreciated!_

_Thanks and REVIEW!_

_LeQueenDeMischief_


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